cheers! :)

2007-11-25T13:56:00.000+08:00

after like sooo long, im finally starting up my blog again LOL jus came back from OBS on friday with loads full of rashes!! FREAKING ITCHY! ohmygosh and i cant believe i accidentally brought back a whistle =X haha souvenior huh but i reallie enjoyed OBS learnt alot and also to know more about myself GHADHI ROCKS! =))

went to YMCA youth for causes award ceremony at the supreme court auditorium with ruoying on saturday reallie wasted my time there =.= not mentioning that i woke at 6.30pm for it but at least it was great to see the staff of YMCA there again reallie miss working with them during my work shadowing week (:

today's the 1st day of the 2 weeks! sighs 14 days seems so long to me but i hope you'll enjoy your trip and take care of urself ya loves (:

2007-07-17T21:02:00.001+08:00

work work work. everyday i come home late from school, fatigue overtakes me but i know i still have to finish my homework. its so sickening that work seems never ending, especially recently, when it seems to be even more busy than before. and i have 3 tests next week!!

PW! i reallie hate pw to the core! its draining the life out of me and made me not have time for other things in my life. the never-ending problems that arise and the contraints that we face which makes us feel helpless reallie makes us feel like giving up. i dunno if we're unlucky or what, but we seem to ALWAYS meet with problems. however, though we're exceptionally busy with pw now, im sure our hard work will pay off. so, adrian, yongyao, xinyu, weiwen, let's jia you together and stay together alright? let's give it our best and never give up! =)

also, school is reallie stressful these days and the continuous flow of homework reallie makes me feel like skipping school to just take a break. but in class, when i look around, i know that im not alone and that these people around me are together with me, motivating each other and working together towards that common goal. these people reallie make my each and everyday in school happy and worthwhile. thank you S20! let's all be promoted as a class together! i love you guys! jia you! =)))

2007-07-05T20:48:00.000+08:00

haha haven't been updating this blog for a long time lol been lazy i guess but i have this sudden urge to revive my blog again so i shall TRY to update constantly =)

MYEs are long over and results are out and i failed my 3 h2s. sighs its reallie horrendous, especially physics. i mean, if there's a grade lyk U-, i'll surely get it. i dun even dare face mr ng today during class. damn. i think i got lyk the lowest in class for physics.

though i dont reallie show it. but im actually quite upset about my results. i mean, who likes to fail, seriously, and furthermore, everything. but i feel wad ms teo said today during lecture is very true. we all attend the same lectures and use the same material. so, the effort we decide to put in is the deciding factor of our results. knowing full well that im weaker than others, i should have studied harder and put in more effort as well. i have studied, yes. but definitely not hard enough =/

i think retaining is seriously becoming a reality for me and no longer a joke anymore. i reallie cant imagine how to face my family if i reallie do have to retain, or even worse, get kicked out of college.

argh!

sometimes it reallie is unfair. studying doesnt necessarily get you a pass. its lyk you can study your guts out and you'll still fail. i think i reallie chose the wrong course for me. knowing full well that i suck at sciences and still taking MCP, is seriously a damn dumb choice. sometimes i reallie wonder why im so dumb and stupid, and not as smart as those in my class. i think s20 is a class which is full of reallie smart people. i guess i can only blame my laziness and constantly not paying attention in class.

sighs. why am i a failure? =(

2007-04-03T22:17:00.000+08:00

seriously, what am i living for? someone pls tell me.

2007-03-14T22:53:00.000+08:00

during this few days, i've come to realised that alicia quek shu yi has a very sad life actually. i realised that in my whole life, im always faced with rejections from every aspect in my life. from school, to cca, to schoolwork and even from friends and family.

i feel that in everything that i do, i never give in my 100% in wadeva i do, which results in the fact that im always average in everything and excelling in nothing. even when i was a leader in kranji, i was never ever able to command respect from my members and neither was i able to prove my worth as a leader at all. i think in the eyes of everyone, im just not good enough.

in my studies, needless to say, i definitely feel that i could have done better if i had just spent most of my snoozing time to studying time and my slacking time to mugging time. and again, i was just an average student even in the O levels. but having regrets now, is pointless.

in my family, im definitely not the one who spends most of my time with my family, unlike my sister, who is closer to both my father and mother. whilst im typing away, she just screamed at me for using the com and disrupting her studies when i just used the com like half an hour ago. but after so long, i realised that my stand at home is so insignificant that i've already given up arguing with her since a long time before. although my mum didnt say anyting, but im quite sure that she's quite disappointed that i didnt make it to NYJC, which made me feel quite lousy about myself as i really wanted to do her proud by achieving more than my sister. furthermore, she's unwell now which makes me feel even worse. i reallie feel that im the worst daughter, worst sister and the worst person ever on this earth. sometimes i just wish i wasnt me. maybe i could just be a rock which has no worries but just wait for others to throw me to other parts of the world and having no feelings at all.

i feel that i've changed. i think i sound like a person with very low self-esteem and i feel damn negative about myself, i tink i've become less tolerant and more lazy as well. i tink to my frens, i feel lyk im becoming a lousier friend and im reallie sorry to those who feel so. =')

i watched pursuit of happyness today. which probably triggered all my thoughts. it taught me that everyone would have their fair share of success and happiness as long as u are willing to cont to pursue it.

but will my day ever come?

shit. i hate to be me.

2007-03-06T20:31:00.001+08:00

i reallie hate being fickle-minded.

i hate myself.

2007-02-28T20:47:00.000+08:00

omg! i finally changed my blogskin!! hahaha hope this one is alright =))

and i cant believe it! my internet server totally sucks alright. i cant go into msn at all omg i seriously miss chatting with my peeps non-stop and spending my time catching up with them sighs =( i wish/pray/hope it'll be alright reallie reallie soon!

anyways i skipped most of the lessons this week and spent the time gambling hahahaha call me a compulsive gambler please, seriously LOL but this time, im winning! thank you angela hahaha =)) but on the other hand, i reallie feel kinda bad for skipping so many lessons and im seriously lagging behind lyk damn back sighs im totally lost im maths >.< but i confirm plus chop will not do so for jae yar hahaha oh ya! and for the first time in my whole life, i broke a pipette! hahaha

went back to kranji again today. and i realised that up till now, im still caught between nanyang and pioneer. the longer i stay in pioneer, the more i feel lyk staying there. i reallie love the school and not forgetting my friends and my class 07S10! my class reallie never fails to make my day. they reallie are the motivation for me to go school everyday. i jus love them so much! reallie gonna miss them if i DO leave pj. but on the other hand, i might not even get into nanyang =)
oh wells, in the end i decided that since i've made my choice, i'd jus go to whereever im posted to. IF i do not change my mind again hahaha

2007-02-20T20:51:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE YEAR!! *oink oink*

haha this year is the year of the pig already. anyways did the usuals of going to my paternal grandma house for reunion dinner on chu xi. this year talked especially much with my paternal cousins cause i usually dun even talk to them at all lol anyways i enjoyed myself with my relatives =))

chu yi. after lazing around at hm, i went to my paternal grandma house again and after which, went to my cousin's house to eat reunion lunch with my maternal relatives haha hong baos please! hahaha cny is great! but in like one hour, i lost $20++ to my stupid cousin! omg!! couldnt believe it. thn in the night, i played with my uncle, auntie and popo and i lost another $50!! OMG! lucky my mum helped me to pay hahaha but seriously, can u say bad luck? omg

thn chu er. spent the WHOLE day slacking at home cuz there was no bai nian-ing going on hahaha so i was practically packing my stuff the whole day hahaha super duper dusty and i realised i still kept my baby clothes >.<

chu san, which is today. went to jh house to play mahjong and i cant believe i zha hu! i even lost during black jack. super duper unlucky. omg! please call me a compulsive gambler lol so in total i lost $30-$40.

haha so moral of the story, i give money to ppl during cny lol so if u wanna win lyk crazy please gamble with me haha alright, happy cny everyone! =))

oh ya! see ruoying is a nerd! =D

2007-02-15T22:20:00.000+08:00

okay, i dunno wads wrong with me.

jus feel super duper emo today with loads of mood swings >.<>

anyways had a super hectic + busy day today and the worse thing is i skipped loads of lesson! and i feel super guilty esp for chinese sorry zhang lao shi! ( though she cant see it) i promise i'll never skip lessons again!

moody me! =((

2007-02-08T19:40:00.000+08:00

it seriously seemed to be only ytd that this year started and we were counting down to the release of results and so fast, it's tomorrow

im definitely nervous its lyk im so nervous till my heart's gonna pop out not only do i not wanna let myself down, but i dun want to let my family down as well i reallie wanna do them proud its been such a long time since i've achieved anything for them to be proud of its been so long that i've already forgotten the feeling of being proud of myself

*sighs* im so afraid of all my subjects im so uncertain of everything its not helping that my family's not comforting me at all argh i just feel lyk screaming all my unhappiness out

talked to ms lai in school today together with esther huayuan ade and husaini the more we talked, the more nervous we got but somehow i reallie wan my results to know wads the next step of my life i should take

but will it be good or bad?

damn

i hate the feeling of uncertainty.

2007-02-06T23:43:00.000+08:00

by demand of CARINA LIM JIA LING, i shall blog again haha

had a fun dinner with carina, jane, rui wen, zhixuan and wenlin at keat hong today. we were chatting and chatting non-stop haha missed them tons and tons we reallie can talk abt anything under the sun i reallie love them alot every single one of them is special to me in different ways so i reallie hope we can be forever friends! haha I LOVE U GUYS! =))) *hugs*

gonna have dinner with another group of special girls tomorrow =)) hope i dun become beggar alicia on thurs haha

3 more days! =S

2007-02-06T17:09:00.000+08:00

after more than a year, I HAVE FINALLY CREATED A BLOG! *SCREAMS*

haha tried to revive my previous blog but i totally forgot my password already =.= lol so i created this new one with my favourite tatty bear =))

figured i needed a blog cause i wanted to pen down significant events in my life as well as jotting down my thoughts and sentiments in my daily life so that i will remember them for life.

mmm, spent my first 3 mths in pioneer jc and i reallie love my OG 11 as well as my class s10!! i feel we're reallie reallie united that we're gonna donate blood together as a class tomorrow haha to me, i think this class gives my a very homely feeling and we have a infamous reputation in pj haha totally funny! =) shall upload a photo of us when i've taken one haha

one more thing which makes s1o super unique is that for our first class outing, we went to PROJECT SUPERSTAR 2 together!! haha super duper fun! all thanks to andrea for getting us tickets which are super upclose to the stage! anyways it was a reallie eye opener experience for all of us. we were lyk cheering lyk mad and screaming at the top of our lungs haha i think we all went crazy when daren won haha super funny! after the event, we went for supper tgt at lau pa sat and we reached home lyk damn late la almost 2 =.= and i had to go school the next day i almost died man practically dozed off during gp haha but the experience was worth it =))

i din go school today cuz i had a swollen eye haha so i decided to create this blog out of boredom lol gonna have dinner with the 2d girls later! yes! haha we're talk and talk and talk and eat and eat and eat hahaha looking forward to that alot. i think we reallie rock. being able to stay as a clique ever since sec 1 =)) i hope we can even last till the day we each have our own children hahaha damn funnie i love them loads! =))